gayteacup

So recently I've gone through a number of changes and a series of unfortunate events. (pun intended) but although those personal stuff that happened was rather unfortunate, one of them was losing my pen. I'm going to replace it hopefully soon and when I do I will be leaving this account to start making a name for myself and not just posing art for the sake of it.

Also cough maybe money if u kno what I mean lmao

I wont be very active, it's not like I have been, but I'm just really tired. So when I get the pen I'll release the account and friends can go check me out lol

Ok bye

What is more important, academic or emotional intellegnce.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that an A+ on a test isn't going to make people hate or like you any less.

"Ya see, look, it does not matter that Kevin bullies and made me suicidal, he got straight As so I like him anyways"

Like wtf no.

Academics are hella important but they shouldn't overpower your self worth. That just sucks, and you'll never be satisfied with yourself because you're empty on the inside. You can have it all, good grades, a good job, lots of money, but bitch if you are depressed and hate yourself, 2+2 doesn't equal happiness.

I guess I just find it ridiculous to believe knowing the solution to area is more. important then loving yourself

What about the situations where self worth is necessary and you can't just whip out an equation to solve it.

Idk maybe I'm missing the big picture, so if anyone disagrees let me kno ur thoughts in interested in starting a discussion.

No shade tho either, people have diff opinions, Thats awesome

Just curious lol

Ten things... Ten lists.. Ten to ten meme...

(1)Ten tings I love.
1. Emily
2. My friends
3. My family
4. My rabbit
5. My blankets
6. Books
7. Tea
8. Cold weather  (even tho I'm always freezing lol)
9. Socks
10. Trees

(2)Ten things I hate.

1. Math
2. The dark
3. Gore
4. Rick and Morty, Big Mouth
5. Anime (with a ddlc exception)
6. People that use cancer and bleach as jokes, or make WAY too many sexualized jokes. It's not funny you're just being dumb man
7. myselfandmybodycough
8. My habit of ripping off lip tissue. I just start bleeding and I've gone through like 4 chapsticks in the last month
9. Kpop
10. When people refer to their favorite characters, musicans, actors, ect as their "children" I mean I don't really care but I myself just find it odd to call a favourite person my child??

(3)Ten things I can't go without.

1. My phone
2. My tea (HAHAHAHA)
3. My friends
4. My blanket
5. Gum
6. Socks
7. My notebooks
8. Laptop
9. Scale
10. Brain

(5)Ten things I can do without.

1. Short sleeves
2. Trump
3. My mental issues
4. My negativity
5. Responsibilities
6. Myself probably
7. Old baby photos
8. Kids trying to trip me all time
9. New Heathers reboot
10. Hair most likely

(6)Ten Cars that are my favorate.

1. What
2. No
3. I
4. Don't
5. Know
6. Any
7. Cars
8. Man
9. : (
10. >:[

(7)Ten TV Shows.

1. Riverdale
2. Stranger Things
3. The End of The Fucking Word
4. Friends
5. IDK ANY MORE
6. uHHHH
7. HEBSISGDIFH
8. Fruck
9.
10.

(8)Ten books.

1. Diary of Anne frank
2. Black dahlia avenger
3. This bOok Is Gay
4. Harry potter books
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

(9)Ten reasons why the world won't end.

1. Kindess
2. Good fashion sense
3. AmAzing TV shows
4. People trying to save the earth
5. Good people
6. Socks
7. Food
8. Advanced society and technology
9. Water
10. I dunno

(10) Ten reasons that The world CAN end. 

1. Nuclear bombs
2. Trump
3. Waste of water and energy
4. Lack of kind hearted people
5. People destroying the earth
6. Lack of socks
7. Waste of food
8. Over population
9. War
10. Did I say trump

=============End of the meme=================

NOW TAG 10 OTHERS TO DO THIS MEME!

If ya wanna do this meme please clap your hands.

if you wanna do this tag please post a journal

If you really wanna do it, then stop reading get right too it cuz eventually you'll forget, so go right now

:'))
=========================================

I have some oatmeal,

I have insomnia,

I am a moody ass kid.

let's begin.

so, my grandma is a breast cancer survivor, and she's been doing soo well!! But then on her trip to peru, the doctors found tumours in her brain, and 2 months later, she started as a super energetic, happy, confident, talkative person, to confined to a hospital bed, unable to speak, or move, and rarely getting able to see her own family.

sucks, right?

this has hurt our family financially, and mentally. Heck, out of my entire life I've never once seen my dad close to crying, and when we went to vist her yesterday, he was bawling.

everyone was,

except for me

well, I wasn't crying for the same reason.

I had just finished binging and purging after 3 months of starvation and i felt horrible, and depressed as fuck. Let's just say I wasn't in the mood to get a knock on the bathroom door and hear the words "We're going out."

I recollected myself best I could and we left to go vist my grandma.

the ride there was unpleasant. My throat burned, my head hurt, I cramped,  and my mental state was pure shit. The second I walked into that hospital, my anxiety decided to come and kick me in the nads,

It came so abruptly, it was kinda like if you where walking on a bridge blindfolded and you stepped in the wrong place and fell.

that quick.

I was panicking, having a hard time not crying, and my family thought it was because of my grandma, but it wasnt that. I was anxious, not because my grandma was dying 2 floors above me,

But because I was sitting in a hospital waiting room, with sick, crying babies, after just finishing my binging, purging, starving session, and trying to not let my depression get to me.

fu c k

we go up to vist my grandma, and all is said and good, but then my parents told me to talk to her.

And all I said.

was "hi"

because that's how fucked up, I was in that moment.

let's just say the ride home was filled with family anger nosies and crying.

so yknow

this oatmeal is the only thing keeping me sane, and I'll probably be okay

I really needed this

Also I have noooo fucking idea how I'm going to explain this sudden weightloss to my doctor, they already know about my eating disorder so they'll probably blame it on that, but I also blame it on appetite loss

like my head is so fucked I barely even go downstairs anymore, and I've been late to school 3 times this week because my depression so bad, my grades are failing, and my wrists burn

nOO I FINISHED MY OATMEAL.

aND I EAT LIKE 250 CALORIES A DAY.

BI T C H, THE LEAST I'VE EVER EATEN DUE TO MY EATING DISORDER IS 500

I CANNOT FUNCTION

BbvBDHSUSVDISGSKSVFKSVAJDBDJDVAHSHSIDVD

I'm so ready to die rn like I would run so fast into the light and never look back

But I've convinced myself suicide is a sin

And I'm an atheist

goodnight

I'm going to be inactive for a bit because I currently relapsed hard on a few things and i need time to recover.

sorry.